stuff

Yesterday was one of those days where I probably should have had a sign on my forehead that read, "beware, if you don't belong somewhere, I'm throwing you out!"

It started yesterday morning. The house had reached a crazy, clutter stage! I went about the morning just purging things and reorganizing. I am terrible for starting something and getting about half-way through, getting distracted by something else and then starting another thing. By the time I get to the end of the day, I have about 10 things half done! This kind of project also proves difficult with a one-year-old in the house because in order to get one thing cleaned up, he is ultimately making a mess of some other one thing, so we really never get anywhere!

I really wish I didn't care about this kind of thing...like a clean and organized home (picture Martha Stewart or the cover of Real Simple:), but somewhere deep inside me is this pull to have everything "look" like it's in order and clean. Like, things might be a mess, but if my house is totally put together and clean then somehow that masks what is really going on. We have been in a funky season lately...that's really the only way I know how to describe it. Teddy has been crazy busy at work and schedules, functions, family (all good things) have squeezed our family schedule so tight that it squeaks! We have been in a hard season of discipline issues with the kids and I have felt the "war" that Paul talks about in Romans in my own life.

"For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members." (vv. 22, 23) I guess I take a weird comfort in knowing that Paul struggled with this thing of faith and 'doing the right thing.' In my mind, he is the one that stands out to me as someone who "got it." He completely gave his life to Christ because of what Christ had done for him. At times, he is a frustrating person to read about. It didn't matter what you did to him, he gave God the glory! He talks about our sinfulness in this chapter according to the law (the law being the 10 commandments given to Moses on Mt. Sinai) and how we constantly are breaking the law in our sinfulness. I know that I do before the sun even comes up! But what joy we can have in knowing that our sinfulness no longer leads to death...as it should!

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23

I memorized this verse as a young child, but the weight of it has truly hit me as an adult. We are all dead in our sin...every single one of us. There is no one that doesn't sin, but where we can rejoice is in knowing that God sent the perfect, sinless sacrifice so that we can stand righteous and blameless before a perfect and holy God. The very God who breathed stars into existence and reigns completely sovereign over all that has been and ever will be. He holds it all in the palm of his hand.

In all my organizing and purging yesterday, I found things I didn't know we had or forgot we had, but God never misses anything nor is surprised by anything. And what amazing comfort that is to me that I don't have to know all the answers. My life can feel like a mess at times, but I know that He is holding it all together and all I need to do is walk faithfully in Him and press into Him and He will work all things together.